Raving Mad.

So I have created a blog; a net to catch those little pieces of everyday life that would otherwise fall through the cracks of memory. Which is ironic because I don't want to examine the forgotten moments of yesteryear. I don't want to remember, or look ahead for that matter. In fact I don't even want to recognize the existence of the present - of time
Time is unavoidable and unstopable. You cannot prevent the rising and falling of the sun. That is something I have learned lately. You see for the past few weeks I have been living almost nocturnally. I wake up a few hours before the sun sets and fall asleep as it rises. It is in these brief hours of sunlight that I am most uneasy. For the sun is a reminder that outside my twilight world there is a real world with real people, doing real things - the things which I am supposed to be doing, but am not.
I will be sitting on the couch, half drunk savouring the soft, comforting, toxic fumes of my ciggerette and then I will notice it: the slow change from the black blanket of night into the glowing purple of early morning. Glowing purple that warns of daylight creeping over the horrizon, spreading forth over the city onto the streets and into the room where I lay. I put out my ciggerrette and close my eyes. I forget about the sunlight, forget about the things I am suppose to be doing and fall asleep. Half a day later, I wake up as the sun is getting ready for bed. In those waning hours of daylight I hear and see countles people coming home from a hard day's work. A hard day's work. I don't want to think about it, so I inhale deeply on my ciggerette and forget and wait for nightfall. Night comes, the room is darker now. Its amazing how much cleaner a room looks in the dark. It's two in the morning, and I'm not the least bit tired...